The Siren Song of the Flip Flops

I didn't sleep well last night. Just as I was drifting off, I heard the faint sound of voices in distress. I could hear them crying out "Help me!" "Release me!" "Let me out to play!" 

With that last cry I realized that the voices were coming from the storage bin in my attic. My flip flops had awakened too early from their hibernation.

Wearily I released the pull down stairs and in my flannel pajamas made my way to the attic. It was so cold up there. The cries of distress grew louder and as I opened the Rubbermaid bin, my flip flops were nearly hysterical. They begged and pleaded to be released. They were tired, they said, of the dark and cold. And patiently I tried to explain to them that it wasn't much better outside the bin either.

Then take us somewhere warm, they pleaded. They entreated me with a variety of options but the one that nearly brought me to my knees (well, in truth I was already on my knees, our attic ceiling isn't that high) was Puerto Rico. Let's go to Cerromar Beach, they exclaimed. You can float down the river pool and enjoy Pina Coladas at the "in pool" bar made with the freshest pineapple on earth. We'll bask in the sun and save your lounge chair for you. For a moment they almost made sense. Only with the greatest self-discipline, and an even greater lack of funding, was I able to resist the temptation.

I spent more time talking quietly with them and encouraging them by letting them know that spring was right around the corner. In 30 days they'll notice that it's definitely lighter and in 60 days it will be noticeably warmer. 

They finally calmed down and drifted back into their hibernation. But as I crept quietly back down the stairs I found myself thinking, it's a long, long time until May.

I, with a deeper instinct...

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
~ Anais Nin

Wow! Powerful stuff!

This quote crossed my radar screen today and stopped me in my tracks. (It takes a lot to stop me in my tracks!) I  thought about it for a long time. And I realized that, as young as I was (and perhaps it was through instinct) I managed to choose a man just like this to marry 32 years ago. It hasn't always been the smoothest ride (in fact it's been down right bumpy) but it's made me the woman I am today... in need of no man. I am with a man because I "choose" to be, not because I "need" to be.

And while I find this quote powerful, I am a little puzzled about what it means to be "treated like a woman." I'd love to get some dialog going on this because I am willing to bet there would be a variety of responses.

When is Enough, Enough?

I really don't like to waste energy by dwelling on things that I hate; however, I HATE the COLD! And I find that I hate it worse every winter. I'm not especially crazy about extremely hot days, either, but I'd much rather complain about being hot than about being cold. Of course, not everyone feels as I do. Some people LOVE the cold! And that's just fine. 

So my big question is, why do I continue to live where it's cold in the winter if I hate it so much? For that matter why don't we all live exactly where we'd like to? And what does it take for us to finally pick up and leave the places we've called home to find paradise elsewhere?

One couple I know, who'd lived in Florida forever, finally couldn't take the barrage of hurricanes they were experiencing some years back, so they moved back to Ohio, where he was from. She didn't make it through that first Ohio winter. The miserable, gray days, so typical of the Buckeye State, caused her to succumb to deep depression; forcing them to move to the Carolinas the following summer. Last I heard, they were doing just fine.

In late 1989, my grandfather, who'd lived many years in Oakland, California, returned to live in his native state of Ohio. Most family members thought the sudden migration east was due to his shake-up during the Loma Prieta earthquake; but he confided in me it was because his girlfriend refused to sleep with him anymore. Two years later, at the age of 84, he left Ohio and moved to Alabama to marry his latest sweetheart. In this instance, love trumped climate not once, but twice.

And of course there are the people who feel stuck where they are because of jobs; or they move to god-forsaken places because of jobs where they're stuck.once again. Sometimes I fantasize about being a gypsy; where my job, my home and all my possessions go with me wherever I go, whenever I feel like going. 

So when will the cold finally prove to be too much for me? I'm not sure, but I feel that day is growing closer and I already have my "saved searches" on Realtor.com. What will it take to finally push me over the edge? That's just another question for the universe.

Perspective

Wow, when you put it that way...

Click here:

Dot

Personal Resolutions

I typically don't make New Year's resolutions; but rather, I make New Year's philosophies. I find that a new philosophy is easier to follow than "new rules" for life. And I wasn't really focusing on a new philosophy for 2011, but this morning, it just came to me in the shower. I find it interesting how some of my best thoughts come to me while I'm in the shower. 

My new shower driven philosophy for the New Year is this: 

Breathe more deeply; Live more deeply; Love more deeply.

As a society, we Americans really don't know how to breathe. When I turned 38, I took lessons in yoga. The greatest thing I learned from yoga is how to breathe. I discovered that I hadn't been breathing correctly all my life. Amazing things happen when more oxygen enters your body.  Not only were my sinuses and nasal passages clearer, but my head was clearer, too. I gained vision and energy. Unfortunately, it's been a long time since I've practiced yoga, and I have discovered that I need to make time to breathe again; to center myself and become more energized.

I also find that I get so caught up in the day to day that I forget to truly live; to take pleasure in every little thing life has to offer. And to make plans. Don't forget to make plans; otherwise life will have a way of slipping right on by. Plan to visit friends, take a class or a vacation. Maybe the plans will have to change, but working, dreaming and living towards a plan of some sort adds an extra spice to life and makes life seem richer and more rewarding.

And don't forget to love. And not just those you care about, but everyone you meet each day. It really doesn't cost anything to smile at a stranger and make their day a little better. And it's important to not just love others but yourself as well. Having spent over 30 years as a wife and mother, I find it's easy to spend all your love on others and forget yourself; and then there's nothing left to give to others. Loving yourself and taking time to do the things you know are truly good for you will give you more love to give to others.

And while you're about the business of making a new philosophy, a personal mission statement isn't a bad idea either. Mine is to: 

Create beauty and produce positive energy -

As an artist, I strive to make art that will bring beauty to other people's lives. I'm not about making a social statement or something that will shock the viewer. And when I receive phone calls and /or letters from collectors who tell me how much joy my artwork has brought them, the feeling of joy I receive in return is more than I can even describe.

And the creation of beauty plays hand in hand with the production of positive energy. Everything in the universe is made up of energy and that includes our thoughts. They are electrical impulses and they are not stagnant. I find it poisonous to dwell upon negative thoughts and derogatory comments. It poisons me and it poisons those around me. I have found that by looking for and commenting in the good of others or in situations around me, life is so much better and people are so much kinder. Many might scoff at prayer, but I'm a firm believer that that is another way to produce positive energy. I have seen and felt the effects. It doesn't matter what you believe in or who you pray to, the positive energy gets out there.

Producing positive energy 100% of the time is probably not possible, but it is a worthy goal. I know that I'll still cuss out deranged drivers and whine about incompetent politicians, but more of my thoughts will be directed toward what's good in life.

So Happy New Year, and if you want to share, I'd love to hear about your aspirations and goals for the year ahead.

Cold Moon and Lunar Eclipse

                                 December 21, 2010 - Winter Solstice Lunar Eclipse

Did you know that the full moon in December is known as the Cold Moon? It's also known as the Long Night Moon, Oak Moon, Frost Moon and Moon Before Yule. 

 

I've been obsessed with the moon since I was a tiny little girl. It began as a fearful obsession. My father unwittingly caused me to be afraid of the moon by pointing out the "man in the moon," and my imagination took over from there. I had a recurring nightmare starring the man in the moon  from which I awoke with a start when his disembodied voice began to talk to me from the sky in a disapproving tone and I could hear my heart  pounding in my ears.

By the time I was school aged, I had worked through my fears and and instead of feeling terror at the moon, I reveled in its beauty in all its phases. (Although I still occasionally have those dreams where a disembodied voice from the sky talks to me in a disapproving tone.)

I can still clearly remember the first time I witnessed a lunar eclipse. It was Saturday, the night before Easter, April 13, 1968. I was on vacation in Florida and the evening was warm. To my 11 year old mind, the totally eclipsed moon resembled  a perfectly toasted marshmallow. And another special lunar eclipse that I remember was the night of my senior prom, May 25, 1975. 

I can well understand that a lunar eclipse struck fear in the hearts of people ages ago who didn't understand the workings of the solar system. I find it interesting that we are still awestruck by this phenomenon although we know it's only a matter of shadows. 

And I, for one, will continue to be forever fascinated by the night sky and the mystery that is our universe.

It's Only a Number, Right?

 

Not so very long ago, a customer came into the medical equipment store where I work and ordered a custom fitted back brace. My co-worker, Suzanne, took her measurements and ordered said brace; only to discover that it was on back-order indefinitely. The customer came back to the store and selected another brace from the catalog and after she left Suzanne went to order it and gasped aloud, "Oh no! I need her waist measurement for this one... I only have her hip measurement." To which I glibly replied, "So call her up. She'll know her waist measurement." Following that stupid statement there was a stunned silence and Suzanne murmured, "I don't know my waist measurement, because I don't want to know it." And I suddenly realized that I was in complete agreement. I didn't know my waist measurement either for the same reason.

Suzanne tried to call the customer and got her voice mail. When the customer called back, Suzanne was tied up so I fielded the call. I tried to explain to the customer that we needed her waist measurement and she frostily replied "Large!" I calmly continued my questioning, "Then your waist measures between 30 and 35 inches?" "YES, YES, YES!!" she shouted at me. "Suzanne took all my measurements, didn't she save them?!?" Geez, lady, I was thinking,  why so testy?

That's when I suddenly understood the mystery behind women's clothing sizes.Think about it. Does it make any sense? You go into a clothing store and you buy something arbitrarily sized anywhere between 0 and 16 or higher. But what does it mean?

A man goes into a clothing store and he tells the clerk his waist size and inseam length and voila! He gets a pair of pants that fit him perfectly. Men's clothing sizes are based on real numbers. A woman wouldn't reveal her waist size to anyone. I'd rather tell a complete stranger my age than give them my waist measurement. So what are women's clothes sizes based on? And why is a size 10 in one designer's line of clothing not necessarily the same as a size 10 in another line? In fact, the more expensive the designer, the smaller the size you will probably wear. Isn't that a neat marketing trick? And why is it that I weigh 20 pounds more than I did as a teenager, but my current clothing size is two sizes smaller? Where's the logic in any of it? And I feel sorry for any man who tries to buy clothes for his wife or girlfriend.

Well, it's because women can't face the truth. We are in complete denial about our measurements. So someone, somewhere came up with a system where we can talk about our size without revealing too much information. And as women have become larger, the clothing industry has restructured the sizing system so that we can all feel smaller again; another neat trick!  Mystery solved.

That night, after the incident with the back brace customer, I was getting ready for bed and my eyes drifted to the drawer where I knew my measuring tape was kept. I took a deep breath and quietly withdrew that instrument of torture out of the drawer and took my waist measurement...All I'm saying is, I'm 53 years old!