God's Shopping List

I received a message from God today, in the form of his grocery list. I was returning from a walk with my dog, and there it was, at my feet in my very own back yard. "Typical male," I thought, "dropping this on me; the busiest woman in the world." Then I noticed the date - a full three weeks ago. I wondered how many women before me had turned down this task before he finally gave me the list in despair.

I couldn't help but laugh when I saw the first item on the list. Crackers?!? Surely God has enough of those and plenty to spare. And I read over the rest of the list. What in the world is going on in heaven? This sounds like depression food. Is the economy bad there, too? Is this what I have to look forward to when I spend time in eternity? Spam and Jello? And cream soup? What is cream soup anyway? Cream of what? Cream of cream? I'm not sure I can spend all of eternity eating pork and beans and spaghetti sauce. This is not what I pictured on the menu in heaven. And so I wonder... what do they eat in the other place?

I thought about just pitching the list like I'd never seen it, but guilt got the better of me. After all, I had plans to go to the supermarket after work; what was a few more things for God? And then it hit me. Where in the hell was I supposed to ship it?